A Blog post
How to create a Parent-Student contract
- Apr 06, 2018
- Jared Wells
- In Uncategorized
- 0 Comments
Step 1: Explain the purpose of the contract. The key idea is that when your teen is an adult, the world is going to reward or punish them for their ability to keep their agreements and meet the expectations of others. Your job, as a parent, is to help them get ready to face that reality. You’ll know the best way to get this message across. This about taking the emotion out of setting your expectations for your teen. At the end of the week, the question is whether they met your expectations or not, not an argument about why they didn't or whether the expectations are reasonable or not. If your child doesn't succeed, the next week is another opportunity to achieve! You want to enjoy your relationship with your son or daughter, not be in constant battle with them! Step 2: Discuss with your son/daughter your minimum expectations for school, home, etc. Make sure to get agreement and buy-in from your son or daughter that your expectations are reasonable and achievable. It might look something like this -No missing assignments in any classes -No grades lower than a “C” on any tests or quizzes -Trash taken out and bed made every day without being asked -Out the door on the way to school by 7am every day Make sure these are focused on outcomes, not on HOW those outcomes should be accomplished. Step 3: Talk with your son or daughter about the privileges that will be EARNED if these expectations are met. As an adult, we can’t take ownership of a smartphone, a video game system, or even having a place to live for granted! We need to produce in the world in order to receive. And going forward, some privileges that your son or daughter has enjoyed will no longer be taken for granted. Those privileges might include -Use of a smartphone -Video game systems -Spending time with friends on weekdays -Use of the car on the weekends -Allowances You know best what are the things that 1) your son/daughter values and 2) that are getting in the way of their success. The idea is that when we are failing, we need to shrink our world a little bit so that we can narrow our focus on what is important. Step 4: Set some audacious goals with your son or daughter. These should be things that, while still achievable, are not minimal expectations. Things like -3.0 GPA at the first progress report -No more than 2 tardies at the first progress report -Getting “prepared” ratings on all of your Wells Academics Session Reports for the month And come up with some great rewards for achieving them. Step 5: Offer to help your son or daughter figure out ways to achieve the goals. The key is not to force your help on the student. You can offer to help plan, offer to pay for tutoring sessions, offer to speak with teachers. You can even offer to remind your son or daughter to get started on their homework. You probably have some really clear ideas about what they could be doing differently to succeed. And now, instead of being ultimatums or demands, they can be gifts offered to help the student succeed! Remember, this is not about you versus your son or daughter. This is about you helping your son or daughter become the successful adult they CAN become. Here I discuss how to use the Parent-Student contract on a week to week basis to support your son or daughter in developing good habits!
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