Author: Jared Wells

Step 1: Explain the purpose of the contract. The key idea is that when your teen is an adult, the world is going to reward or punish them for their ability to keep their agreements and meet the expectations of others. Your job, as a parent, is to help them get ready to face that reality. You’ll know the best way to get this message across. This about taking the emotion out of setting your expectations for your teen. At the end of the week, the question is whether they met your expectations or not, not an argument about why they didn’t or whether the expectations are reasonable or not. If your child doesn’t succeed, the next week is another opportunity to achieve! You want to enjoy your relationship with your son or daughter, not be in constant battle with them!

Step 2: Discuss with your son/daughter your minimum expectations for school, home, etc. Make sure to get agreement and buying from your son or daughter that your expectations are reasonable and achievable. It might looks something like this

-No missing assignments in any classes
-No grades lower than a “C” on any tests or quizzes
-Trash taken out and bed made every day without being asked
-Out the door on the way to school by 7am every day

Make sure these are focused on outcomes, not on HOW those outcomes should be accomplished.

Step 3: Talk with your son or daughter about the privileges that will be EARNED if these expectations are met. As an adult, we can’t take ownership of a smartphone, a video game system, or even having a place to live for granted! We need to produce in the world in order to receive. And going forward, some privileges that your son or daughter has enjoyed will no longer be taken for granted. Those privileges might include

-Use of a smartphone
-Video game systems
-Spending time with friends on weekdays
-Use of the car on the weekends
-Allowances

You know best what are the things that 1) your son/daughter values and 2) that are getting in the way of their success. The idea is that when we are failing, we need to shrink our world a little bit so that we can narrow our focus on what is important.

Step 4: Set some audacious goals with your son or daughter. These should be things that, while still achievable, are not minimal expectations. Things like:

-3.0 GPA at the first progress report
-No more than 2 tardies at the first progress report
-Getting “prepared” ratings on all of your Wells Academics Session Reports for the month

And come up with some great rewards for achieving them.

Tomorrow, we’ll discuss how to use the Parent-Student contract on a week to week basis to support your son or daughter in developing good habits!
Want to make sure your child starts second semester off on the right foot? Give us a call to schedule an in-person or phone consultation!

This is a true story.

I had just sat down to work with a student whom I had known for several years. We had done SAT prep together the previous year. He asked me how my day had been going, so I told him that it had been a long day. I had the boring, painful task of reading the least interesting reading imaginable: SAT essays written by students over the weekend. So I whined about what a painful task it was, how it disrupted my productivity that morning, etc, etc.

With a gleam in his eye (the gleeful kind teenagers get when they are about to call adults out on their BS) he said, “Vince, didn’t you always tell me that it’s a choice to be interested? What, you think just because they are teenagers writing these essays means you don’t have anything to learn from them?”

I feebly defended myself, telling him that yes, he was right, but c’mon. These were essays the students themselves didn’t even want to write, at the end of hours of draining testing. Could there be a source of writing less likely to provide value or wisdom? It had nothing to do with their youth. But I correctly predicted his response: That doesn’t matter. My choice was to find value in the writing, or find boredom. So why choose boredom?

He had me, and he knew it. I laughed and congratulated him on turning my lesson around on me, and I resolved to give these student essays my energy and engagement. I wasn’t surprised to find that reading those essays was a less painful, more valuable, more enjoyable experience once I changed my attitude. I’m sure that made my feedback to the students more valuable.

It wasn’t two weeks later that I ended up reading a student essay written about a book called “Siddhartha” by Hermann Hesse. This was a book that I was assigned to read in high school, but rushed through it to get it done, and didn’t think much of it. However, this student wrote about the book in such a way that my interest was piqued. It just happened that it was my turn to choose the book for my book club, and I picked it.

Maybe it was just the right time in my life, or my determination to look for the value in the book because of my student’s comment. Whatever it was, I was blown away by the book, and ended up reading “The Power of Now” by Ekhart Tolle as recommended by a friend at the book club. I’ve always been a scientific minded person who didn’t think he had any need for spiritual “gobbledy-gook”. Those books helped me find a peace in my life that I had no idea that I needed. A peace I may never had found had these two students not given me the gifts they did.

So thank you to both of those students. I hope you got as much value from our SAT program as I got from the latter’s essay on Siddhartha, and the former’s calling me out on not living what I teach. And I hope that sharing the experience I had can convince students to look for value in everything they read, even if it might not be exactly what they would have chosen.

Looking get more out of your reading? Give us a call today to discuss how we can help!

One of the biggest areas of resistance to getting help with school that I hear from students is that they look at tutoring as something for “stupid kids”. If you admit that you need academic support, aren’t you admitting you aren’t as smart as the people who don’t need it? Of course, once they start coming in to the center, and they see lots of the people they viewed as the “smart kids” those preconceptions melt away. There are no “stupid” kids…there are just kids that need help with something, and there is no person on Earth that doesn’t need help with something!

When I meet with students for a consultation, I tell them that everyone needs help sometimes, and not admitting that you need help causes more pain. Then I tell them this story.

I’ve never put much emphasis on physical fitness in my life. Yes, I knew intellectually that I needed to take care of my body, but I’ve been lucky as far as health throughout my life (no serious sicknesses or illnesses) so I just kind of pushed it out of my mind.

About a year ago, I was sitting in the driver’s seat of my car, when I reached back to grab my seat belt, and suddenly recoiled in pain. I had pulled a muscle in my back and started having spasms. My body was so weak and inflexible, making a motion as simple as reaching behind me caused me a painful sprain.

At the time, my daughter was two years old, and I realized that if I didn’t start taking better care of my body, I had no idea what kind of poor physical shape I’d be in by the time she is a teenager. So what did I do? I got a personal trainer. And it wasn’t because I didn’t know that I needed to exercise. It was because I knew that I needed someone to hold me accountable. I needed someone to push me. And yes, I learned a lot from her too. And let me tell you, despite how I “knew” I needed to exercise to take care of my body, I never worked harder in my life the day I went in for that first session. Athletes that get paid millions of dollars per year have personal trainers…does that mean they are weak, or is that the REASON they are strong?

Realizing that you are struggling to do something alone doesn’t make you weak or dumb. Everyone needs help sometimes. Everyone needs a coach, a mentor, or a partner. The smart thing to do is to get the help you need.

Want to make sure your child starts second semester off on the right foot? Give us a call to schedule an in-person or phone consultation!

First, for student who want to register for the March SAT, the deadline of February 9th is fast approaching! Get signed up ASAP so you don’t have to drive to North County for a seat! Go to www.collegeboard.com to sign up!

Second, I appreciate all the feedback I’ve been getting about these emails! I’ve create a three question survey I would SUPER appreciate if you’d take the time to fill out. Your response will be anonymous. Please go here to fill it out.

Lastly, I’ve been using this site called www.focusmate.com recently. It’s for people who have trouble working independently and staying focused (like me!) You essentially create a 50-minute work session with a partner, spend 30 seconds at the start of a video session saying what you are going to accomplish, and then, with video on but mic off, you get your work done. Let me tell you, having someone working with me like that helps me focus! I’m not recommending this for students, but why not have your kids do video group study sessions with their classmates. Even if they are working on different things, having two or three people all there to support each other in taking care of business can help cut down on distractions. Maybe this is something we should offer…?

Want to make sure your child starts second semester off on the right foot? Give us a call to schedule an in-person or phone consultation!

 

…and as a side effect, you might actually do better!

Working with struggling students for many years, a common thread that I see is that the students tend to have relationships with their teacher that, well, could use some work. Fortunately, there are things that your son or daughter can do to work on those relationships!

1) Speak up in class, every single day. Whether it’s to give the answer to a question that you asked, or to ask a question, being actively engaged in a class shows that the student is putting at least a modicum of effort in. Not to mention that NOT asking a question that you are confused by is just going to make it more difficult to understand what comes next. Look at it from the teacher’s perspective. It’s not very rewarding to see a bunch of bored faces staring blankly at you as you discuss something that you care deeply about, is it? So participate!

2) Go to office hours regularly. Many teachers make time available before school, after school, or during lunch or prep periods to meet with students. For a class you want to improve in, schedule a time, at least weekly, to see your teacher. Come with any questions you have (if you don’t have questions, but are struggling with a class, that might be something to discuss too!). Ask your teacher for advice on how to improve your grade.

3) Take advantage of every opportunity your teacher gives to get extra credit. Test retakes, extra credit projects, anything. This is another way to show the teacher you are doing your part. It is hard for a teacher to have sympathy with a student who has missed multiple opportunities to improve their grade.

4) Do quality work neatly and on time. For some people, this is the reason they are struggling with the class, which is reason enough to get help. But besides that, what does being late say to someone. It says, “Your deadlines/timelines are not important enough to me.” Whether that is the message the student intends to communicate doesn’t matter. It’s the message that a student might hear. Whereas a student who is struggling with tests, but is clearly doing their best to get their work done is more likely to receive sympathy from a teacher. The quality of your work is a way you show how seriously you take the class.

5) Be respectful. I know that when you feel like someone is being difficult, it can be tough to show respect. Trust me: I’ve worked in customer service for 15 years now 😉
That said, it doesn’t cost anything to be nice (other than pride, perhaps) and the rewards can be enormous. Make it a personal challenge to kill your teachers with kindness!

By the way, doing these things just might lead to better grades irrespective of your relationship with your teacher!

What other things have worked for your son or daughter?
You’ve still got two days to sign up for the workshop I’m putting on at La Jolla High School this Wednesday from 12:30-2:30! It’s called “Second Semester Resolutions” and it’s going to be about how to build, and keep, the habits your son or daughter need to have an improved second semester!

 

Want to make sure your child starts second semester off on the right foot? Give us a call to schedule an in-person or phone consultation!

 

In my years at Wells Academics, I’ve seen hundreds (thousands?) of students who believe that they are not smart enough to succeed in school. They struggle year after year, and the message they take from that is that, since smart people succeed in school, they must therefore be dumb.

This is NOT true!

Intelligence alone is not enough to succeed in school (or in life, for that matter). Lack of success in a class can be a result of any number of factors

Here are five reasons students struggle in school that have nothing to do with intelligence.

-Poor organization skills. If you can’t find your homework assignment, or you didn’t know you had a test, it’s tough to succeed no matter how easy the material might have been for you to learn

-Poor planning. Getting a project done or preparing for a test requires dozens of steps that people who are good at planning take for granted.

-Passivity. I know lots of students who, for a variety of reasons, won’t talk to the teacher to get help, won’t ask for extra credit opportunities, or won’t get clarifications about confusing assignments.

-Poor study skills: Many students don’t know HOW to prepare for a test, other than doing assigned homework and reading. Success in a challenging class can mean doing more, but many times, students don’t know what more they should do, or how to do it.

-Disinterest/lack of relevance: It’s tough to get energized to do hard work if you believe the work itself is pointless. This leads to students’ “going through the motions” rather than doing the deliberate practice needed to improve.

These things are so important, but are often overlooked by students who believe that “If I’m failing math, it must be because I’m bad at math”.

Want to make sure your child starts the school year off on the right foot? Give us a call to schedule an in-person or phone consultation. Let’s discuss how your son or daughter can use the summer to prepare to have the kind of school year they are capable of.

“Second Semester Resolutions” Workshop
Sponsored by the Junior Class ASB

With a new semester upon us, let’s make sure that we build from our successes and learn from our mis-steps in first semester! In this workshop, we’ll discuss 10 resolutions you can make to make second semester better, and how to KEEP those resolutions! Topics will include

-Habits to start building now that will make your semester easier

-How to keep yourself accountable to the goals you’ve set for yourself

-Planning for failure: How to prevent inevitable setbacks from derailing you
and much more

If you want greater academic success second semester, this is the workshop for you! Don’t let second semester just happen to you: take control of it!

Workshop will end with a Q&A, so bring your questions! Parents and students welcome. (Average post workshop student review score 8.5/10!)

Led by Vince Perry of Wells Academic Solutions.(www.wellsacademics.com)
Where: LJHS Library
When: Wednesday, February 7th from 12:30pm to 2:30pm.
Cost: $25/student. (Free and Reduced Lunch Program: $5)
Pay at the door. Make check payable to: La Jolla High ASB, (Check note: Junior Class)

100% of proceeds go to La Jolla’s Junior Class ASB! Limited availability.

Questions? email: help@wellsacademics.com or talk to a Junior Class ASB Representative

Want to make sure your child starts second semester off on the right foot? Give us a call to schedule an in-person or phone consultation!

 

1) Find a study buddy/group for EACH class

Does your child have someone in each class that can be called for quick homework help, test dates/topics, or to set up a study session before an upcoming test? One of the best ways to stay on top of your game is the knowledge that someone might be relying on you (trust me, as an educator I feel that way every day!) Schedule some time to meet each week, even if the only thing that gets done is homework for the day. That way classes don’t get overlooked for weeks at a time, which can happen for students who, because they are struggling, have a tough time facing the challenge.

2) Weekly email to parents

“How was school today?”
“Fine.”

There is a better way for you to find out if your child is on top of things. Asking them to write a weekly email to you summarizing each class is a great way for your child to make sure that he or she knows what is going on in every class. Mondays are a good day since teacher will often discuss the plan for the week. The email should cover, for every class

-What the current grade is (check powerschool)
-What tests or quizzes are coming up that week
-What projects or assignments were assigned or will be due that week
-What topics are being covered

When you read the email, you’ll be able to get a pretty clear picture of how well your son or daughter understands what is going on in class (and can provide support if necessary). But the email is REALLY for the student. It will get your child into the habit of taking a step back to look at the big picture, rather than the chaos and urgency of reacting to day-today-crises. It’s much better to realize on Monday that you don’t know when your test is (and be able to take steps to find out) than the day before the test!) For a student who is having particular organizational issues with a class, a teacher might agree to be CC’d on the weekly email.

Want to make sure your child starts second semester off on the right foot? Give us a call to schedule an in-person or phone consultation!